New Year's [Resolution] Now! (Video + Blog)

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What could you do to HONOR yourself this holiday season? Start your New Year's Resolutions, now!
 
Truth is, NOW is always the best time to make any changes in your life that you're planning to make sometime in the future. Delaying any action that will create more health, peace, tranquility, strength and calm in your life can be self-sabotage.
 
So don't wait to—

Begin a daily mediation practice
Start a regular exercise habit
Eat healthy food to fuel your body

Starting NOW means in 21 days, you'll have begun the formation of important, empowering habits.
 
Prepare NOW to show up as your very best self next year.
 
Making the commitment NOW means that when January arrives, you're body, mind and spirit are in good care.

To create anything meaningful in life--friendships, intimate relationships, partnerships— personal & professional--you have to start with YOU. Self-care practices signal to yourself that you're worthy of your own time, attention, and effort.

Gratitude for Negative Emotions

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'Tis the season where we hear, read, and think a lot about gratitude. We typically give thanks for the goodness we experience in life, and we wrestle with the negative emotions we feel--anger, jealousy, frustration, disappointment. We try to get rid of those negative emotions by taking positive actions that make us feel better, like exercising or relaxing or reading or talking to a friend or mentor. And, most of us have gotten swallowed up by a negative emotion at times, allowing it to ruin our day or our week by over-indulging in the downward spiral. No judgment for when you've gone there, wallowed in the sadness and allowed bitterness to set up camp. It's all part of this human experience!

I invite you to see these negative emotions as your inner wisdom saying, "pay attention to these feelings," and see them as guideposts, pointing to places within you that are asking for help, asking for you to come more and more into alignment with who you truly are: a divine being of light, destined for greatness, here on Earth in human form to live a life filled with happiness, love, peace, and joy. These negative emotions are simply notifying you that you're ready to transform some old story into a new one that serves your highest and greatest good.
 
What if you were brave enough to say, "I see you, Anger, I am grateful for you, and I'm committed to letting you go"? Could you transform emotions that no longer serve you into ones that do?

Personal transformation can feel hard and elusive, and it's worth every bit of your attention so that you can live with joy and ease. Start by being grateful for your negative emotions and being willing to understand what lessons they offer.
 

Extraordinary Times--Extraordinary Self-love!

I think we all can agree that we are living in extraordinary times, and it's easy to lose ourselves and overlook our own needs when it feels a little crazy out there. In my work with clients, I always begin by focusing on their relationship with themselves. Why?

Because your relationship with yourself has the single

greatest impact on your relationship with everyone else.

So, in the chaos in the US following the election and the ripples it's created around the world, I offer you 3 strategies for nurturing your relationship with yourself in this week's video blog.

DISENGAGE

Not feeling great while watching the news? Choose to disengage for at least 48-hours and then assess how you feel. It's an important form of self-care and a way for you to be present with your family. 

CONNECT

Reach out to those people in your life that you think you don't have a lot in common with and just listen. I called a friend this week who has very different political views from mine, and we talked--not about politics--but about life and kids and meaningful work. It was so good for my soul to hear her kind voice.

RADICAL SELF-CARE

Do what makes you feel amazing: take an extra-long soak in the tub, put a puzzle together; color just for fun. We often put everything in front of caring for ourselves, including listening, reading, or watching news that makes us feel frustrated and angry. 

I promise you this: caring for yourself in these critical ways will positively impact every, single relationship you have and will keep your energy in the place to attract love, kindness, patience, compassion, and acceptance--all the fundamental things that create happiness and joy in your life.

What Are Your Relationship Beliefs?

It's true: our beliefs drive our life. What you believe about life, love, & relationships creates your experience. And, you may have beliefs that are blocking you from what you truly desire. To find these beliefs, you must dig in and uncover your beliefs.

Easy? Well, yes, but it takes practice. In order to get clear on what you REALLY believe about life or love or relationships, start by listening to your thoughts. Pay attention to your words, which are simply thoughts that you care about enough to speak. Your beliefs show up readily in your thoughts and words. These prevailing thoughts--the ones that are automatically playing over and over in your head--create your experiences.

Once you see your prevailing thought patterns about life, love and relationships, you have stepped into a state of awareness. With this new awareness, I invite you to ask yourself 3, key questions about your prevailing thoughts:

Why do I have these thoughts?What meaning are these thoughts making about myself? about others? about life?What beliefs must I have in order to be having these thoughts?

There was once a time in my life, for example, that my prevailing thoughts about men, in my "post-divorce 40's," sounded something like this: men in my age range who are single must be deeply flawed; otherwise, they'd be in a successful relationship. Yet, this belief meant that I was limiting what was possible and that I must have believed that NOT ONE of the millions and millions of men on this planet was committed to creating a relationship full of happiness, joy, and love. I must have believed that NOT ONE man on this planet was, like me, creating the next, best version of himself, having learned from his own wounds. How outlandish! How limiting! When I gained this awareness of these beliefs, I was then able to see that it WAS possible that there was ONE human on this planet that did match my own list of what I truly desired in a relationship.

Examining your beliefs can be uncomfortable, even scary, because the awareness you gain will likely call for you to BECOME a new version of yourself.

Are you willing to explore your prevailing thoughts?

Are you willing to let go of beliefs that do not serve you? 

The Ocean, Slow time, Soul Sisters & My Love

Ahhhhhhh. I bring you this week's Blog from Akumal, Mexico, where I've spent days of being unplugged, not knowing what time it is, surrounded by people who love me dearly, and allowing myself to     s-l-o-w d-o-w-n. 

I've spent most of my life moving quickly: I married at age 19, gave birth to my daughter at 22 and my son at 26, completed a Master's degree just a month before my son's arrival, developed a successful corporate career with increasing achievement by 38, and purchased a house in an upscale neighborhood that I had always wanted. I felt I had DONE the things in life I'd set out to do.

And, I felt completely empty. 

The dismantling began for me at age 40, when I spoke into what I was feeling without filters: I was drowning; I had lost myself; I felt unheard; I felt alone; I felt exhausted. 

It was a crippling time. Divorce followed. Shifts in all parts of my life ensued. I became alone. For the first time, I was my refuge. I focused on my children and my work. I didn't fit, any longer, in the social circles of couples, and I didn't know what the next chapter held for me. 

I recall this to share that the biggest lessons I learned, then, are the lessons I still am learning: go where you soul feels calm, with those who love you, and slow down. 

• Where is that for you, where your soul feels calm?
• Who are the people who love you dearly?
• What does that look like for you, to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n? 

Seek what it is you LOVE in this life. Seek what fills your soul.

You will NEVER be sorry.

There Are No Mistakes

Every time you chose to open your heart to love, you made the right decision. Every. Single. Time.

You are WHO you are because of every experience. The best way to love this moment is to love the YOU you've become. 

Until you can feel the truth of the statement, "there are no mistakes," you are living with an underlying fear about relationships. Maybe you fear that you will repeat past experiences in a future relationship. Maybe it's fear that you'll attract someone who isn't your ideal. Maybe you're afraid of being vulnerable to someone new. 

How can you move past the fear? KNOW that every relationship presents itself to you at the perfect time. There is no FUTURE mistake waiting to happen, lurking around the corner. There is only expansion. There is only possibility. 

If you believe that you've made mistakes in relationship choices, you diminish the person you are now. You can question why you were in the relationship, why you stayed so long, why you were rejected, why you fell out of love. Yet, instead of asking WHY questions, I recommend asking WHAT questions; these are the catalyst for inviting personal growth.

Ask yourself--

• WHAT did I learn?
• WHAT do I now know about me?
• WHAT am I willing to do with what I've learned?

Everything you have experienced has prepared you for what's next. Let the energy you expend be creative energy toward your future!